When you fall in love with a Great Dane, your life changes in ways that you could never anticipate. It’s more than just living with a big dog, it’s getting to know a soulmate who speaks to you with a series of woofs, grunts and pitiful stares.
1. They’ll never outgrow their awkward phase.
Some say that the Great Dane’s awkward phase is at about 12 months old, when they’re technically an adolescent. That big head doesn’t seem to match that lanky body. However, a true Great Dane parent knows that a Dane never stops being awkward, even after their body grows into their big feet. They’re known to fill awkward silences with strange squeaky noises, and will always butt into the conversation when they’re not the center of attention. Typical Dane!
2. A Great Dane is a professional photo bomber
A Great Dane always wants to be in your selfie, and will instantly drop their chew bone for a chance to get in on a photo opportunity. If someone is taking a group shot, the Dane will always be around the corner, making sure to get at least an ear or tail in the photo. Uninvited or not, a Great Dane always insists on being photographed. The worst part is, you can take the best selfie of all time, and people will still comment “cute dog!!” instead of noticing your perfectly applied eyeliner.
3. They’re just big babies.
Though most weigh over 100 pounds as an adult, a Great Dane is really just one big baby. They hate being alone and love to snuggle, even if that means suffocating you under their heft. They also tend to be afraid of small dogs, plastic bags and suspicious looking rocks.
4. They always look sad.
It’s impossible to resist the forlorn look of the beautiful Great Dane, with those sad eyes and that droopy pout. A Dane is not for the easily manipulated, because when they have their way, they will get to eat everything you eat, and you’ll never leave the house. Sometimes, you just have to say “no” to that big old mug – no matter how hard it is to resist.
5. Sitting weird is perfectly comfortable for them.
The Great Dane’s unusual size means that they don’t fit easily on most dog beds, even when you order the “X-Large,” as most manufacturers, hilariously, think a rottweiler is “extra large.” Though you may accommodate your Dane with a baby mattress or a bed made for an elephant, they’ll find creative ways to get comfortable, like sitting their butt on your couch with their face resting on the coffee table. If a Dane wants to sit somewhere, they’re going to sit there, even if they have to make themselves fit.
6. They’re always watching you.
Once you bring a Great Dane home, you’ll never be alone again. They enjoy accompanying people to the bathroom, and will scratch on the door if you “accidentally” lock them out. Once they get into a habit of following you around the house, they will observe everything you do. Some learn by copying, and will unexpectedly start to open doors, open the fridge, and retrieve drinks of water from the sink. They’re always watching, listening and learning, so you have to be careful of what you do or say. They quickly learn important words like “bath” and “go out,” and will go crazy when they hear these phrases as they eavesdrop on your conversations.
7. They poop. A lot.
You would reasonably expect a human-sized dog to take human-sized poops. But a Great Dane actually poops like a horse, up to four times per day. The inside-out plastic bag trick really only works for the brave, seasoned Dane owners. For everyone else, there’s the heavy duty utility scooper. On some days, you’ll have to make several trips, possibly with two large pieces of cardboard, a few plastic bags, a garden hose, a hope and a prayer.
8. A Great Dane is basically a just person with a lot of feelings.
Not only is a Great Dane about the size of an average adult person, they’re extremely human in the way they show emotions. They slump when they’re disappointed, and bounce around when they’re happy. Their attitude is infectious. If you ever go home grumpy, your Dane will be sure to change your mood in seconds.
9. Kids love them, it’s the adults you have to worry about.
Most kids actually are not afraid of your huge dog, it’s typically adults that are afraid of them. Though most Great Danes get along well with kids, you actually have to be careful about kids who are too rough, and may be tempted to ride the dog like a horse. Training a Great Dane is actually pretty simple, training children, on the other hand, is extremely difficult. Training adults to make their kids give your dog space? Absolutely impossible.
10. They don’t live long enough.
A Great Dane can live up to 10 years, tops, and many die at a young age due to various health complications. Even a decade is not nearly enough time to spend with these amazing companions. On the plus side, they do teach us to cherish every moment, and forget about the occasional behavior slip-up, as we know we’ll miss them dearly when they’re gone.