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10 Things Only #Bullmastiff Parents Say
  • September 16, 2017
  • Posted by editor
  • Category Blog

Do you love a Bullmastiff? There’s really no other dog like them. When they join your family, here’s a few phrases that start to pop up in your vernacular:

1. “You have to leave that outside. No, you have to leave it outside. Leave it outside.”

Some dogs bring sticks inside. A Bullmastiff is not satisfied with a little twig. They’re proud when they can find a massive branch that suits those big, pouty jowls. But unless you want your floor covered in wood chips, you have to stand your ground – which is difficult when your giant pup has decided to make a piece of a tree their new best friend.

2. “You better stop talking back to me, young man/lady.”

Bullmastiffs communicate with a series of grumbles, snorts, woofs and whines. When you talk to them, they might just talk right back. They’ll even give a heavy sigh when they’re tired, or just tired of being huge and adorable. As a Bullmastiff owner, you learn to speak your big pup’s language, and you start to understand each other on a deeper level.

3. “Is it raining in here?”

It’s not surprising that Bullmastiffs produce a considerable amount of drool. But you never really anticipate just how much of it they produce, and how quickly it takes over your entire life. When you feel something wet on your face, shoulder or cheek, you’re sure to see that great big puppy sitting next to you. If you’re late for dinner, forget it – the drool will fly. It’s not just the long strings of drool. It’s when they shake their head, flinging it all over the furniture and walls.

4. “That’s okay, you can have it.”

A Bullmastiff is not a dog for sharing ice cream with. If you’re not careful, that big old nose will find your glass of milk on the coffee table and start helping herself to a few slurps. One sloppy swipe of that tongue, and you’ve lost your appetite.

5. “Who’s mama’s beautiful baby?”

People might think you’re talking to a five-pound Chihuahua, but it’s just you letting your Bullmastiff know that they’re the most beautiful bundle of love you’ve ever laid eyes on. Behind closed doors, you say the silliest things to your Bully, or maybe you’re out and about with it. There’s really no reason to hide your love for your big, beautiful baby boy or girl. Anyone who has met them can understand why you’re head over heels in love with your baby.

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6. “Ow, my feet. My feet. OW.”

A Bullmastiff never really notices when they surpass 100 pounds. They won’t hesitate to settle down on top of your feet. You may have to insist, several times, that your feet cannot sustain that massive weight, and they will have to find someplace else to sit. Your Bully wants to be as close to you as possible, which can sometimes make it hard to breathe.

7. “Do you have anything bigger than a California King?”

While you’d love to cuddle up to your Bullmastiff, they’re simply too large to share the couch and bed with you. Wouldn’t it be a dream to have a bed so big, that you, your significant other, and your Bully could all stretch out and get a good night’s sleep?

8. “I think I might actually die this time.”

All dogs fart. Even a tiny Yorkie will let out an itty-bitty poot once in a while. But you can’t always hear or smell a dog’s fart. Not true with a Bullmastiff. Sometimes, a Bully will let out a loud, proud trumpet of noxious gas. Other times, the deadly gases will silently leak out and threaten to kill you in your sleep. You may want to have the windows open when your pup ate something weird at the park. Or you might actually, literally die.

9. “Yes, she sure is a big dog.”

When you’re out for a walk, people notice. You feel safer just knowing your big pal always has your back. People are curious about how you manage, or might even just stop to let you know that yes, you do indeed have a large dog. Children are amazed at the size of those big, bumbly paws, and duck from that massive, waving tail.

10. “You’re my best friend. But can you please let me breathe?”

A Bullmastiff will suffocate you with love. You’ll feel safe and happy every day that they are a part of your family. There’s a very special relationship to be had with such a dog so big, that you have to negotiate to live in harmony together. That might mean asking them to please get their head off your neck so you don’t asphyxiate, or to try to live longer than 8 years because you really, really need them in your life.

10 Things Only #Bullmastiff Parents Say


  1. Karen
    On May 22, 2018 at 3:26 am, Karen said:

    My Bear is the love of my life. He is a big loveable Teddy Bear. We are always stopped as he loves everyone…..as long as Mom is happy, or he does not feel a threat. Then he is my protector. He is my Service Dog and is 13 years old. He is healthy and living on love.

  2. Hope
    On June 4, 2018 at 1:59 pm, Hope said:

    My Cookie just passed away. I miss her scratching on the door during a rainstorm

  3. Rodney
    On May 18, 2019 at 5:26 am, Rodney said:

    We have jax a full blood bullmastif I’ve had alot of dogs and we have a blockhead black lab we love to but jax is so close to us. He’s the most loving dog we ever had when you see that picture of the dogs playing cards he really tries to with our grandchildren he would lay down his life for them kids it’s something special about that dog he’s five months now he’s huge my little granddaughter feeds him popsicles Haha and cheetos he’s something now

  4. Marcie
    On August 23, 2019 at 4:48 pm, Marcie said:

    I just lost my baby she was 12…that dog was my life I was devastated…I have never had a dog so loving and wonderful and gentle…rest in peace my Zoe. I love u baby girl

  5. Patricia Gaugler
    On September 2, 2019 at 7:28 pm, Patricia Gaugler said:

    Wr miss our 130 pound bull mastiff. BUCCA. (BOO KA ) Means MOUTH in Italian. Lost her to cancer at 8 years old. She was the love of our life.
    Rest in peace BOO BOO WE LOVE YOU.

    Daddy and Mommy. ?

  6. Bonnie Dozier
    On September 22, 2019 at 3:28 pm, Bonnie Dozier said:

    we. are so amazed everyday at the laughs and the love we get from Melvin. He is only 9 mos old, already weighs 120 and is just a big baby. Dont know what we did before him.. and cant imagine him not around. He goes 90% of everywhere with us. he is our baby and a major part of our life!!!

  7. Jennifer N. Tolomeo
    On October 12, 2019 at 12:20 pm, Jennifer N. Tolomeo said:

    We have a 7 month old Bullmastiff.Hes our BEST FRIEND,but he’s mama’s boy.Zeus is a big sweet heart.Hes the best pet that came into our lives.We love him sooo much and spoil him.We say he’s a little baby in a big boys body he’s 120 pounds so far.

  8. Susan Minke
    On October 26, 2019 at 11:16 pm, Susan Minke said:

    I just became the caregiver of a 2 year brindle Male, neutered. I opened my Prius door and there he was. Thought him beautiful. Neighbors couldn’t spend time with and he’s been a farm dog. Gentle Giant so far. Thank you for all the comments.

  9. Lucas
    On November 25, 2019 at 1:28 am, Lucas said:

    I have a one year old bullmastiff named copper and he is so cute

  10. April Veach
    On November 27, 2019 at 3:32 pm, April Veach said:

    Why does it say live longer than 8years? I just got a Bullmastiff puppy. We were looking forward to 18years with him. Then I read 8yrs. Why so short of a lifespan? Can we do anything to improve his life. To give him an extra few years.

  11. Delinda Bazzell
    On January 8, 2020 at 9:59 am, Delinda Bazzell said:

    I lost my beautiful boy Pimp daddy 01/05/20 he was 8 years old his stomach somehow flipped and there was nothing they could do but release him from his pain was the hardest thing I have ever done. They are the children we WILL out live. But what has really got to me is the people who have other breeds and never had a mastiff I have been told by more then one to just let him be disposed of with others or I’m not from Kentucky and will be relocating sometime it would be ok to just bury him here. leave him behind!? This is his home they said NO HIS HOME IS WITH ME! I know that would break his heart if I were to leave him his ashes will be with me always may sound crazy but I’m getting a tattoo with his ashes so he’s truly a part of me forever. My bed is too big and I never realized how much room there is in the bathroom till now the silence is deafening and my world had become a dull gray without his happy light.
    I love you Pimp daddy till we are together again my heart will be incomplete

  12. Kurt veer
    On January 16, 2020 at 6:20 pm, Kurt veer said:

    Love my mastiff. Dozer is 3 months

  13. Jacklyn Grove
    On July 6, 2021 at 8:42 pm, Jacklyn Grove said:

    This blog was… how do you say it? Relevant!! Finally I have found something that
    helped me. Thanks!

  14. Claudia Reiland
    On July 25, 2021 at 6:23 pm, Claudia Reiland said:

    My mastiff, Lazlo, just turned 1yr. I thought by now he would stop tackling our guests (in a playful way). I’ve done puppy training, and they suggested to ignore behavior, that when he sits on his own, then reward him. Has anyone else experienced this? Any advice?

  15. Janine
    On November 21, 2021 at 1:51 pm, Janine said:

    Just rescued a 5 month brindle Bullmastiff girl. She has a fluffy coat so she must be a cross. She is the sweetest thing but I get nervous reading up on the size she will become. And not sure Im ready for the slobber😳. How do you deal with that?

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